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Sex before marriage? / premarital sex? / sex outside wedlock?
Is sex before marriage a sin? Is pre-marital sex OK? What about sex outside wedlock? What does the Bible say about...
FORWARD: This
blog is devoted to freeing believers in Christ from the numerous false rules,
notions and myths we assume by way of tradition which is otherwise know as apostasy warned about in the New Testament. I guarantee you are going to read some of this and say “That
can’t possibly be true!” and yet it
will be. If you believe the Bible is the sole written source of God’s authority
and not also what your pastors, elders and church traditions tell you,
then you are going to leap light years ahead in your understanding of God as
the cool Creator and Designer He is!
Remember Jesus’ struggle was against the religious people in religious
costumes adding thousands of extra rules to the 613 laws that Moses gave.
Nothing has changed today. If it isn’t
in these laws, it’s not a sin. If it’s not a sin, then no one has a right to
tell you it’s wrong.
In order to answer the topic of sex before marriage, we actually have to ask the question: “What constitutes marriage?” Prepare to have your universe unraveled. Do God's laws in the Bible say it has to be a ceremony performed by a clergyman? No. Does it have to be in a church building? No. Do certain words have to be spoken? No.
Now you might say “hey, you said you were going to use the Bible to prove your point.” Well, that’s true, but you can’t prove a negative. The truth of the matter is that there are no rules/laws in the Bible for what constitutes marriage EXCEPT for the act of having sex with someone other than a prostitute. In other words, you make someone a spouse by having sex with them. This may sound ridiculous but Adam and Eve were considered man and wife by God, yet did they hold a ceremony with a priest and share vows? You will find the celebrations of marriage in the Bible but not mandated ceremonies of marriage.
As a conclusion, no matter how you package it, sex is still the center
point that determines a marriage bond. Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man
shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they
shall become one flesh.” In the Hebrew “joined” is referring to sexual
intercourse. The severity of sex means that you become one in God’s eyes.
Likewise, a couple that have had a big wedding before a pastor or priest, said
the vows but have not had sex, are really not considered married until they do.
The point in writing this is that today the definition of marriage is trying to be changed and weaken by all kinds of groups including the growing militant homosexual activists. If one can't identify it and define it correctly according to it's origins - God, then you will not be able to defend it. The modern Westernized church has created a ceremonial facade that can easily be popped with a prick of a pin and will be.
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Comments
Consider this statement:
"As many people have discovered to their horror, sex is so powerful (divinely designed to glue two people together for life) that the consequences of misusing it can be frighteningly different to our intentions." ~ Grantley Morris,
www.net-burst.net
So...when God designed sex, it was designed before creation; and as such, it was designed without sin. And, it was designed to glue a couple together for life. How easy do you think it would be to remain in a monogamous relationship...to be content in that relationship as God intended...without the existence of sin (hence, the temptation caused by sin)?
Did God change? No. The existence of sin, however, taints all of creation, including relationships; even the purest of relationships is not tamper-resistant.
And what about Mary and Joseph? They weren't married, but were betrothed (engaged to be married). Mary's pregnancy with Jesus was so serious in Joseph's eyes, that he was going to put her away privately (an action equivalent to divorce). Of course, Joseph concluded that Mary had been unfaithful to him.
It is obvious, however, that they were following the rules under the Law. So, if marriage is only a man-made thing and what we would call pre-marital sex was OK in God's eyes, then why did they need to wait? It couldn't be only because of man's laws.
Scripture will always confirm scripture. For subjects that the bible doesn't address directly (solitary sex and domestic abuse are good examples), scripture still needs to be further dug into for an answer. And rest assured, God will direct anyone who genuinely seeks.
Something interesting to consider: even the world, in its own way, recognizes the oneness created by intimacy. They will say that when you sleep with someone, you've slept with each person they've slept with before you; and visa versa: they will sleep with each person you've slept with before them. Of course, much the world doesn't posit that there's anything wrong with sexual polygamy; but for the Christian, there is...in God's eyes.
A Christian then basically has two ways of dealing with this: 1) confession and forgiveness (including the forgiving of self), or 2) living with hardness of heart.
1 Peter 2:13-14 says,
13Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
14Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
So, as long as man declares a couple needs to go through a ceremony to be considered legally married, so be it; for the Lord's sake, we need to abide by it.
It WAS common day practice. And, yes, many countries still today honor it.
But then, how do you treat Matthew 19:3-12, considering that it is scripture that confirms/interprets scripture (not man)?
3The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
10His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
11But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Judy, you wrote:
"But then, how do you treat Matthew 19:3-12, considering that it is scripture that confirms/interprets scripture (not man)?"
I'm not sure what you'd like me to respond too in specific, since you posted 9 difference verses that cover all kinds of topics. Also you should respond to the questions I asked in response to your comments.
You are right that scripture interprets scripture. Therefore show me in the 613 Laws that God gave to mankind through Moses, where polygyny was outlawed. If you want to be real clear, Jesus points out here that it is better for every Christian to be celibate rather than even marry. Because he says this, he is not condemning marriage is he? Of course not. Instead of jumping into the middle of the book, let's treat it like any other book and start the beginning, so we can build a proper foundation.
If you care to get into this topic in extreme detail and get to the bottom of a definitive answer, I suggest you check out this topic:
Why lusting after a single woman is NOT a sin even for a married man.Judy –
You wrote:
1 Peter 2:13-14 says, “13Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme”
---------
I'd find a more scholarly translation of the Bible if you're going to start teaching with comments. What your version calls "ordinance" in the Greek is called "institution." Don’t you think we’ve made progress interpreting Greek and Hebrew since 1611 when the King James version was translated? Or do you believe the English of 400 years ago still translates perfectly into modern American English?
There's a world of difference between obeying every little law on the books and respecting the function of the government. Also you forgot to complete the thought which is the contextual point: verse 14 "For the punishment of evildoers." Do you really want me to be punished as an evildoer for smoking a cigar inside my own condo in Calabasas California?
Will your church and pastor comply to no longer read parts of the Bible because it is construed as hate speech against homosexuals? Depending on where you live, this is already happening.
Please answer these questions specifically before making additional comments.
Not exclusively, but I've come to love KJV and use it unless another version proves better. Considering that God is not a respecter of persons, I fail to understand why there's a need for something more scholarly, but I'll do my best in my approach.
What your version calls "ordinance" in the Greek is called "institution."
Not in all places. In the KJV, the word "ordinance" is used twice, each a different Greek word; while the plural is used 7 times. Following this dialogue is a listing of each Greek word translated "ordinance", its meaning and the scripture(s) where each is used.
Don’t you think we’ve made progress interpreting Greek and Hebrew since 1611 when the King James version was translated?
Our progress? Our progress??? Our progress is as nothing. As a society, we may have progressed materialistically, but spiritually we've REGRESSED. How is this country (and Holland, etc.) any better than Sodom and Gomorrah?
It is only the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ, that progresses.
Or do you believe the English of 400 years ago still translates perfectly into modern American English?
I believe the Spirit of God transcends time and translates perfectly. God is not bound to time as we are. 2,000...1,000...500...doesn't matter how many years. If there is a change in meaning, then that change came about by man's translation -- not God's oration.
Malachi 3:6 For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.
And it's a darned good thing He doesn't change! Otherwise that rainbow of promise in the sky wouldn't mean diddly or squat and there would be not one promise we could securely stand on.
There's a world of difference between obeying every little law on the books and respecting the function of the government.
Yes there is. But Christ fulfilling the Law is meant to free us into obedience rather than free us into licensure. By this, I mean that His Holy Spirit residing in us is purposed to give us strength that those in the Old Testament didn't have. With the power given us by the Holy Spirit, we have the ability to turn away from extending lustful glances, for example.
Reading your blog, the method you describe for dealing with lustful glances is to engage in them because they're no longer right/wrong. But Christ's was is different. Christ said that it is not what goes into the man that defiles him, but what comes out of the man.
Matthew 15:16-20 (NIV) 16"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. 17"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "
Scientifically speaking, when beauty enters the eye-gate of a heterosexual man, the natural reaction is to look. God certainly isn't going to declare a man guilty for an initial look (as such, what goes into the man doesn't defile). But whatever comes after that is within man's control. If he continues to look, in a twinkling of an eye it can turn from "natural response" to "lust".Also you forgot to complete the thought which is the contextual point: verse 14 "For the punishment of evildoers." Do you really want me to be punished as an evildoer for smoking a cigar inside my own condo in Calabasas California?
I took that to be a rhetorical question.
Will your church and pastor comply to no longer read parts of the Bible because it is construed as hate speech against homosexuals? Depending on where you live, this is already happening.
Within the last month, I just returned to attending an organized church for 1 reason: I believe the Lord led me to 1) to be a blessing to my mom, and 2) ensure my son gets some fellowship. If/when the issue presents itself, most assuredly I'll return to home-churching.
1296 diatage-->from 1299; arrangement, i.e., institution:---- instrumentality
Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. ~ Rom. 13:2
2937 ktisis -->from 2936; orig. formation (properly the act; by implication, the thing, lit. or fig.):---- building, creation, creature, ordinance
Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; ~ 1 Pet. 2:13
1345-->dikaloma-->an equitable deed; by implication, a statute or decision:---- judgment, justification, ordinance, righteousness
And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. ~ Luke 1:6
Then verily the first covenant had also ordinances of divine service, and a worldly sanctuary. ~ Heb. 9:1
Which stood only in meats and drinks, and divers washings, and carnal ordinances, imposed on them until the time of reformation. ~ Heb. 9:10
1378-->dogma-->from 1380; a law (civil, cerem. or eccl.):---- decree, ordinance
Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; ~ Eph. 2:15
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; ~ Col. 2:14
1379-->dogmatizo-->from1378; to prescribe by statute, ie (refl) to submit to cer. rule:---- be subject to ordinances.
Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, ~ Col. 2:20
3862-->paradosis-->from 3880; transmission, i.e. (concr.) a precept; spec. the Jewish traditionary law:---- ordinance, tradition
Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. ~ 1 Corin. 11:2
Granted, it speaks to those who desire to take part in leadership...but don't church members criticize their leaders who don't fill the pedestal they're put on?
Leaders are put in place to be a tangible example for Christ's followers, and aren't they meant to exemplify the ideals of the Lord?
Polygamy was lawful in Christ's day. If it was God's ideal will for it to continue, what would be the need to run the race?
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NIV)
24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
1 Timothy 3Overseers and Deacons 1Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer,[a] he desires a noble task. 2Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) 6He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 7He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.
8Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
11In the same way, their wives[b] are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
12A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.
14Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that, 15if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth. 16Beyond all question, the mystery of godliness is great:
He[c] appeared in a body,[d]
was vindicated by the Spirit,
was seen by angels,
was preached among the nations,
was believed on in the world,
was taken up in glory.
You responded: I'm not sure what you'd like me to respond too in specific, since you posted 9 difference verses that cover all kinds of topics.
Actually, the scripture is connected with a theme: "purity"; and it seems that Jesus wanted them think for themselves. When it came to the religious leaders, Jesus often answered their question with a question. Observe (words doing the connecting are underscored):
Matt 19:3-12 (NIV)
3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. [side note: Why did they need to test Him? He already addressed the issue in Matt. 5] They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'[a] 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'[b]? 6So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation [if what is the situation? vs3-8] between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage[c]because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
I don't understand how these verses can be separated without being taken out of context.
"I fail to understand why there's a need for something more scholarly"
Because some versions of scripture has been so badly translated it makes us willing to jump through hoops we're not suppose to jump through.
Judy responded to this:
Don’t you think we’ve made progress interpreting Greek and Hebrew since 1611 when the King James version was translated?
Why did you go off on such a tangent about society in general as not progressing? I agree. My point was that scholars have learned more about usage of the language of Greek and Hebrew since the linguistic scholars of King James time. Nothing else.
Judy responded to this:
Or do you believe the English of 400 years ago still translates perfectly into modern American English?
Judy, you again went off on a tangent here about the Holy Spirit. If you believe what you wrote, then logically you don't need ANY kind of translation as apparently the Holy Spirit is going to translate it directly for you from the Hebrew and Greek. You can't have it both ways.
Judy wrote:
"dealing with lustful glances is to engage in them because they're no longer right/wrong. "
WRONG WRONG WRONG. I never said they were "no longer right/wrong." I pointed out that looking lustfully and a single woman was NEVER a sin. Please don't misquote me or I will be forced to delete your comments. Again you have completely missed the point that Jesus was speaking to those that already knew the Law. Lusting after a married woman is adultery. Lusting after a single woman is not. Everything else is apostasy. Go back and look at the Ten Commandments again and notice that there are not 1, but 2 commandments about desiring what belongs to someone else. This is at the heart of what Jesus was talking about - desiring someone or something that BELONGS to another.
Judy wrote in response to the Blogger's question:
Do you really want me to be punished as an evildoer for smoking a cigar inside my own condo in Calabasas California?
I took that to be a rhetorical question. (Judy's response)
NO this was not a rhetorical question. THIS IS A REAL LAW that I used to point out to you that you should not jump through the hoop of every law that comes along - challenging your misinterpretation of the word "ordinance."
You again avoiding answering a more serious question that I wrote: "Will your church and pastor comply to no longer read parts of the Bible because it is construed as hate speech against homosexuals? Depending on where you live, this is already happening."Because you avoided both these last questions, you have proved my point. Interpreting the New Testament out of context of the whole Bible, you are ill-equipped to deal with real struggles and issues in this life. I understand your need to have a rock solid understanding of morals. This is the point of this blog. To call into question the many false teachings that are really flimsy teaching that will not endure real testing AND make cult-like victims of us, robbing all joy of life.
Violent persecutions of Christians in American is just around the corner. When things get this serious, the false and ridiculous values that were never Bible to begin with will be the first thing to crumble in our tribulations. (For those of you that don't know it, tribulation and the word persecution are the same word in the Greek). It's too bad we Westernized Christians spent all this time fussing over rules God never imposed on us. Satan has done a good job misdirecting the modern American Christian.